Howard Stern "Pimp of All Media"

So Howard Stern has once again shown that he can make the entire news media machine his bitch anytime he likes. American Idol is back on the air, and what's the top story in regard to it? Howard Stern. Not Simon leaving, not Ellen joining, but Howard Stern. This is just one of about a billions blog posts and there are thousands more mentions on radio and television:

Howard on America Idol! Oh, no!

With his contract coming up for renegotiation, Howard Stern decided to pull out his favorite bitch, the American mass news media, and rough her up a little, bend her over and fuck her from behind until she begs for more. You see, the news media was getting a little uppity, saying Howard wasn't water cooler news anymore, so Howard bitch slapped her, ripped off her clothes and got her on her knees.

Obviously, it's a very dysfunctional relationship. The news media clearly suffers from low self-esteem. It would really rather cover how nice Ellen is, but that doesn't really satisfy it's darker desires. No matter how much Howard abuses the news, it keeps coming back for more of his attention. It's really kind of sad, but as pimps often say, pimps don't make whores, whores make themselves and choose their pimps.

The media is a whore. And Howard is their favorite pimp. And they love it rough. So Howard has shown them whose boss, and sent them back on the street to earn for him.

They're going to bring back Howard a new contract worth a ton of money. Howard doesn't care if it's from Sirius, traditional radio, or American Idol. He just wants the bitch to bring him his money.